Good news: I don't have cancer!

So, around the time Brittney and I took engagement photos, this weird lump surfaced on the side of my neck.  You may have seen it.  Most people didn't say anything when they saw it -- out of some sort of courtesy, I suppose -- but those closest to me never hesitated to voice their distress.  I remember Matt saw it during a trip to Idaho and immediately said, "What the heck is that thing on your neck??!" followed by a series of pokes and prods.

My mom and Brittney tied for the most vocal.  My dear mother told me religiously to "get that dang thing looked at" while Brittney subtly hinted at my early death and her apprehension at raising Calvin after my premature departure.

If you haven't seen it, check it out:

Notice the artful diagramming.

I had plenty of reasons not to go get it looked at but, when the stars aligned and I ran out of excuses, I decided to see a doctor.  The first doctor sent me to a dermatologist who poked and prodded ("Four years??  You've had this for four years??  Why didn't you come earlier!??") and decided it was totally harmless and "purely cosmetic."  He told me I could leave it alone or get it cut out.  I flirted with the idea of leaving it but I knew the grief I'd get from my mom and my wife, so I scheduled a surgery.

Fun fact: novocaine injections actually sting a little and I counted twelve novocaine injections into my neck to remove this sucker.  They made a small incision, pushed the thing out and stitched it up.  Simple.  They asked if I wanted to see it and, as they were handing the vial to me, started joking and laughing between each other about the last lady who wanted to take a picture of it to "put it on the internet somewhere."

So, sorry I didn't take a picture.

Stitches:

Looking again, those sutures are pretty awful.

And semi-healed up:

It is really bright out this morning.

So, basically, I traded one lump for another lump.  The last lump was smooth but big, and this one is gnarly and small.  Two days later, I got a call from the pathology lab telling me it was cancer-free, which finally gave the supporting women in my life the relief they needed.  I still wish I had a picture.

In other news, we finally landed just the right job, which was cool.  More on that later.